From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
