Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize