I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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