Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
