the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
