I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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