Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
