Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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