? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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