And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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