it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
