okay pat passed out under dana's car
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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