yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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