Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize