Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize