hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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