Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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