he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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