He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
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There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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