Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
