He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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