he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
