I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
