She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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