there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
