I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
