Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
