OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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