I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
