Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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