He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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