I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
