Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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