New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
