see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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