I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Operation Purity has been aborted
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
