would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
