I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize