it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize