shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize