i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
