Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
