Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
