I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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