She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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