Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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