did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She even gives head with a lisp.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
