it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
