The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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