I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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