I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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