you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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