yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Randomize
