is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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