So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
