got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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