I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
