He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
