i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
