I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection