im about as happy as oj after his trial
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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