is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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