Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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