Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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