The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
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I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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