I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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