So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
