I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
